When you think about what gives meaning to your life, what is it that first comes to mind?

Perhaps it was buying your first house. For another maybe studying hard, graduating from college or starting a career. After all, once someone has asked your name, the next question is typically, “what do you do for a living?” The list could go on; farming, painting, playing an instrument, quilting, going out to eat, exploring the world, et al. So, the question for those of us who work with older adults is, “What happens when you get to a point in your life where most of these things disappear?”

Whether we like it or not, today’s world judge’s worth and meaning by how much we do. The pressure is on to always be accomplishing our next goal. We are so busy at times thinking about what we are going to do next that we find ourselves unable to value what is taking place in the present. There’s a consistent focus on what we can do and how much we have, instead of on who we are and whose we are, namely God’s children.

This is the beauty of chaplaincy, the gift of materializing the kingdom of God in; hospitals, health care centers, rooms and bedsides. For in the kingdom of God, our worth is not necessarily found in external accomplishments that we do, but in who we are, our ethos and our being.

Joan Chittister said it best in her book Growing Older Gracefully, “These questions, and how we answer them, are central to the second half of life. We must not only ask ourselves, what are we when we pass from doing to being? For the sake of our happiness and mental health, we must also ask the question: What am I when I am not what I used to do? And does anybody really care? And what does that have to do with growing into God (8-9)?”

These are the kinds of questions that make being a chaplain worthwhile. A chaplain worth her/his salt applauds great questions and invites further conversation. There’s much to be said in walking this road with another. In listening to another’s story and letting their life infuse yours with wisdom. It has been said that listening is the closest experience to defining love. Empathic listening can help our elders see that the notion of being is central to who we are, that being loving, kind, hopeful, available and spiritual – these are not the makings of a meaningless life, these are the gifts of a life lived to the fullest. It’s not only how fast we are or what we do that brings meaning, it’s the quality of what we think, what we say and how we love.

Happy!

Now that is a happy dog! I could not resist that picture because that is sheer, unadulterated happy. I have a simple goal for you - To live and share “happy.”

Happy, at least in this sense, is not just an emotional event. The common definition of happy is too circumstantial, too unpredictable and therefore, not very happy. A.W. Tozer has a good suggestion for a type of “happy” that is substantial and trustworthy.

“The true Christian ideal is not to be happy but to be holy. No man should desire to be happy who is not at the same time holy. He should spend his efforts in seeking to know and do the will of God, leaving to Christ the matter of how happy he shall be.”

That is very biblical idea for if you find holiness then you will find happiness. Now let us be clear on what Tozer taught. He taught that we should seek holiness and let Jesus take care of the happiness. Oh and by the way, “holiness” can point either to sinless perfection or being set aside for God’s purposes. I will not claim the former except "positionally” in Christ. (My wife would certainly write and demand an editorial correction in any other claim of perfection on my part!) The second aspect is the practical one that we seek.

You know, the more I think about this passage I am reminded of another promise by a very respectable theologian. He said…

“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mt. 11:28-30)

Our mistake is that we seek happiness while neglecting holiness thereby finding neither. So I am willing to put Tozer’s suggestion to the test. How about you? My prayer for you is that you find that elusive happiness that rests in God alone. Now if you will excuse me, I have a huge craving for a hamburger.

At a recent gathering of chaplains who serve in different communities in the LeadingAge Texas network, we shared many questions and concerns about the evolving marketplace. Specifically, we talked about how to preserve a spiritual focus in our communities, especially faith-based communities, given the competitive demands we see all around us. Perhaps one anxiety that drove us was that no one wanted to lose his or her job! I say that tongue-in-cheek; a truer anxiety would be that no one wanted to lose his or her influence – or relevance maybe – in being the “mission-bearers” of our faith-based identities. How do we keep serving the needs of our residents well while also raising the banner for the importance of our spiritual mission and identity?

One thing we attempt to do in the community where I serve is to talk about the role that every teammate plays in serving the spiritual needs of our residents. We do this at the very beginning of each new teammate’s orientation with our company – they are challenged to envision how they can have a spiritual impact on the people we serve (and the people with whom we serve) within their specific jobs. You might think this counterproductive; it sounds like I might be trying to write myself out of a job as a chaplain. Actually, the reverse is true. We approach it from the perspective that we each have a different role to play in meeting the needs of our residents. Each one must perform his or her role well to ensure that a person’s whole self is in good health. It’s a holistic approach.

I think this speaks to what ministry truly is. It’s meeting needs. All of our teammates have a ministry; our ministries just take different forms. Mine may include preaching and Bible Study, others may minister through preparing and serving meals, still others minister to a resident’s need for a clean room, the right medication, a secure facility, and the list goes on and on. All of us ministering together creates a stronger atmosphere of faith, even when different religious faiths may be represented within the resident or employee population. It creates a deeper sense of teamwork to be united around a vision of serving in ministry.

Perhaps I am still working myself out of a job, but I don’t think so. I think that a shared vision and passion for ministry is something that can strengthen a community and distinguish us from “the competition.” To strive towards a clear vision of service – that is a worthy mission indeed!

There is a marvelous truth that exists and yet it is a truth that has hidden from most of world. This is a truth that is reserved only for those who have lived a long time. Here is the truth: older people feel younger on the inside than they look on the outside. It is a universal experience. While aging is inevitable, growing old is a choice. There is an art to growing young. It takes purposeful and dedicated practice to tap into your inner young self. It is absolutely possible to learn how to grow young. The secret to growing young is revealed in a song everyone knows: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

-Row, Row, Row
If you are going to grow young you have to keep rowing. You must stay active and create new experiences. Even if you have physical limitations you can try new things. You can read a book you totally disagree with and maybe gain a new perspective. Starting a new hobby can help you increased joy and the feeling of youth. Young people learn new things and try new things. So can you.

-Your boat
You can only row your boat. You can't row the boat of other people. As much as we want to try to change other people, the only person we can change is ourselves. Focus on rowing your boat.

-Gently
Be kind to yourself. Too often our self talk is negative and catastrophic. Release yourself from any guilt of the past. You did the best you could at the time and now it is time to let the past go and move forward.

-Down the stream
Your boat only goes down stream. If you are feeling irritated, frustrated and angry you are paddling up stream. You are resisting the direction life wants to take you. However, if you surrender to what is happening in the moment you will feel a renewal of peace. If you're paddling upstream all you have to do is quit paddling and life will take you down stream. It is a whole lot easier to grow young if you go with the flow.

-Merrily, merrily, merrily
Happiness is a choice. Challenging circumstances and difficult days may come but you can rise above it all by choosing to be happy.

-Life is but a dream
Life goes by fast. It can seem like yesterday you were a young adult.

Have you ever sung this song in a round with others? It's so much better than singing it alone, and at the end, everyone is smiling and giggling. Just like singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" is better when others sing with you, life is so much better when lived with others you love. Surround yourself with others as you're growing young and life will be lots of fun!

Being involved in eldercare often causes us to question ourselves- “Are we having any impact on the life and well-being of the elders that we serve?” So many times we can see little indication that we have made a difference- feedback is minimal. Some of our elders are still very lively and engaging and the impact is obvious and immediate. But for many others sometimes the only response is a flat affect, especially from those who are suffering from some form of dementia. This can apply to elders who are in either long-term care or independent living. So we are left to wonder- “Are we making a difference?”

I think what we have to do is look for the little things. On our campus we have a beautiful chapel where we have a non-denominational service on Sunday mornings. Both long-term care and independent living residents attend the service. One particular couple from independent living attends every week. They were active in our campus auxiliary and their local church for many years. But those days are now behind them. She is always pleasant in saying how she enjoyed the service. He has early onset dementia and does not say much and often sleeps during my sermon (not so unusual). So we are left to wonder.

But the indicator is there- we have to look for it- it is during the music portion of the service. He can be seen singing along with many of the hymns, especially during the chorus. He does not belt it out like he used to, but now quietly engages in the worship service. There is the connection- there is the impact- there is the difference. The worship of God has always been an important part of his life and remains so today. That need is met on Sunday mornings as he quietly lifts his voice in praise to God.

Do we make a difference? Yes we do; we all do from our different perspectives of service and ministry to our elders. It may not always be obvious, but if we look for it in the little things I think we will see that we really do make a difference.

In the 1930s, poet Carl Sandburg was finishing his four-volume work entitled Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years and the War Years. Sandburg called his 75th and final chapter "A Tree is Best Measured When It's Down," a line he borrowed from an old woodsman’s proverb. Sandburg chose that line because he was writing of the events immediately following Lincoln’s assassination, and because he felt that until a life is “down” we are unable to accurately measure the length of its significance, the breadth of its impact, and the depth of its character.

Because of what we are privileged to do in our work, we have the honor of caring for some incredibly gifted and unbelievably lovely residents. The lives of these men and women spanned most of the last century and are leaving their mark on the 21^st Century. Many endured the Great Depression and survived the Second World War. Living amidst trying times, they established families and founded businesses. They supported synagogues, churches and charities. They lived lives of character and consequence.

Like the proverb that Sandburg quoted states, while alive, no man or woman can be fully measured. Only with the passing of time can anyone’s life be properly evaluated. The gushing praise of flatterers and the derisive contempt of adversaries alike are best gauged and reappraised against the lasting results of a person’s words and deeds.

As you look back on the residents who have touched your life, keep their legacy intact. Honor and remember them. Allow their impact to influence your work today.